who knows best

There once was a girl who was helping out someone she cared about. It was a very important task that this girl was performing, probably on the top of the "important tasks to do" list, and the helpee was very greatful. The girl was becoming tired though, it was a hard task, not very many people would take on such a task. So even though she did what she promised to do she would complain and whine to herself. Now the girl knew this was taking away from the kind gesture she was performing but it was hard to stop. The girl was exahusted and missed her friends, for the task kept her immensly busy and had no time to play. The task was fulfilling and at times the girl enjoyed it , but she was having trouble keeping from being upset and resentful when the task grew harder. Was this girl being horrible for fussing? Was the effort she was putting out being canceled by her whines?

If wishes were horses....

I wish I didn't love sleeping so much, I might actually be able to get something done for a change.

I wish I could find the perfect pair of jeans that showed off my butt but didn't give me a muffin top.

I wish I never ever had a muffin top no matter what jeans I wore

I wish I was never intimated by anyone

I wish that when I looked in a mirror I would stop looking straight at my flaws

I wish I would stop looking in a mirror so much (vain kitten)

I wish people stopped just thinking i am a "princess" for all that I have and realize that I made good choices instead of just being spoiled.

I wish my hair was never frizzy

I wish I could swim in the ocean and not get eaten by a shark

I wish shaving never existed

I wish gyms weren't so expensive

I wish I had enough discipline to work out without going to the gym

Stupid day

I am simply worn out. These dramatic antics are ridiculous and childish. I can't even comprehend the stupidity of it all. All I want to say is Don't be hatin' !

Yucky yucky yuck yuck

BLah, so behind in life! I can never seem to keep up with anything. My kitchen sink is piled high with dishes even though I just washed some the other day I think... I can't keep in touch with people for the life of me, and I am supposed to be making a grocery list right now but I am stalling.

Obligations are the worst, I think I have an obligation phobia. I go out of my way to avoid them almost. Not sure why. Someday I think I would like to have a psychologist pick apart my brain and tell me what is wrong with me. Avoiding obligations though is much harder then facing them, probably. I think sometimes I even cut myself off from people just to avoid obligations. I feel cut off anyway. Am I people? Haha as no one reads this...there is my answer.

Anyway, to change the subject, I need to learn to drive in the city. Why does Pittsburgh have to be so confusing?

New times with old friends

SO I have noticed a pattern occurring in my newly developed life. My every waking thought and action is somehow wrapped around the "we" aspect of my life and not so much the "me". I'm not talking about anything overly selfish but when every second of your day is spent making someone else happy, you kinda lose touch with who you were before hand. The pre-marriage you.
So I am making a conscious effort to spend a little time on my life. I love that Brandon is my world but he should never be my whole world, that is way to big a responsibility for him to handle. Also its unfair because then I start expecting more from him then I normally would and if he doesn't live up to that then it effects our relationship and it was never fair for me to expect him to fulfill my every need in the first place.
I reconnected with some old school friends tonight and it felt amazing. Even though it was a simple kind of night, it felt good doing something on my own. Not relying on Brandon for my needs of friendship or fun. It was refreshing and exciting. Plus I got some girl time in which hardly ever happens anymore and it made me smile just from the sheer relaxation of it all.
So here is my bit of advice to anyone newly married, don't lose complete touch with your old life even though it is so easy to do. Your marriage will thank you.

Worst Blogger ever

Its been awhile, much has happened. I'm a Mrs. now, not much in the grand scheme of things but in my little world, a freaking huge deal.

Married life is so much more then I ever imagined. Its amazing, and awful, and exciting and boring, and, and.... it is something completely all its own.

Brandon is my best friend who I wouldn't mind bashing over the head with a shovel sometimes. He is my defender, and my rock. As rocks go though sometimes I want to move it out of the way but it won't budge, as defenders go I don't get a choice what he defends me from.

Marriage is a win, lose, win situation. At first its a win cuz you have this promise from somebody you cherish that they are yours forever. Lose because you don't realize till its all said and done that marriage is a never ending battle. Win, because if you keep on fighting it is the most rewarding experience you can imagine. Granted that is only if both parties are on board.

It is now almost six months since the wedding ( Pat on the back for me). We bought a house and a car, and I want a puppy for Christmas. Money is not really something we argue over but house cleaning defiantly is. I can tell I have rubbed off on him because he likes spicier food now, David Bowie, and Star Trek: Next Generation. I can tell he has rubbed off on me because I drink like a true Irish woman, I play computer games, and I am addicted to Asian food. In fact I am learning the art of Thai cooking.

He hates when I am cranky right after waking up, I hate that he sneaks smoking in the house. I over feed his fish and he NEVER feeds the cats. A messy house to me is perfectly fine to him. I want to take baths together, he wants to watch football together. We both want to be together forever.